I have an indica pen that I use for sleep, but it actually makes sex goofier rather than uninhibited. My mind tends to wander and everything becomes really slow motion, in a distractingly trippy rather than sexy kind of way. Help! -Distractingly Trippy
Dear Distractingly Trippy,
Everything you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. And, if you’re not getting the desired effect, it’s perfectly normal to want to avoid repeating that experience ever again. Cannabis should only ever enhance your sex life, heighten your sense of touch, spark your imagination, and increase empathy.
Anything short of that and it’s just not working for you. Period.
There are a few foundational things to know before sliding into bed with your partner and your plant. First off, inviting cannabis into your sex life calls for an open mind and a clear intention. If you’re feeling apprehensive or unresolved about why or how you’re using the plant, take a few steps back before reading on.
And second, no one can tell you exactly what’s going to work for you. (Literally, no one!) You may have tried to Google this question and whatever you’ve found, probably wasn’t all that helpful. No one knows your body chemistry better than you do. Your best strategy is to tap into your patient self and prepare to test.
It can be helpful to review a simple checklist before getting into your stash:
- Mode of consumption
- Cannabis type
For an experience to be just right, each one of these needs to be dialed in or you risk a bad experience. The good news? Most of this stuff is pretty easy to manage.
While erring on the side of caution might feel decidedly unsexy—especially when you’re calling up your inner Venus—you’re always better off with a small dose. Little to no effect your first time is definitely more desirable than, say, getting way too high by mistake and trying to backpedal your way out of that. Less was never more as with cannabis.
Context is another big one. If you’re having sex with a partner, as ever, it’s always best experienced in a safe environment. Those same conditions are necessary for enjoyable cannabis use too. You want to be able to let go a little and not feel panicked should anything get weird.
There are so many ways to consume cannabis. You can smoke flower, vaporize flower, vaporize oils, take it sublingually, apply it topically, and on and on. If you’re just getting into this sex and cannabis stuff, my recommendation is to stay away from edibles. That particular high takes longer to set in—at least an hour—and for me at least, it just isn’t the kind of high I’m after in the bedroom.
I recommend something that has a more immediate onset like smoking flower (which simply means getting your hands on a joint or packing a bowl). If you prefer the no fuss, no muss part of vaporizing, opt for an oil vaporizer (as you have!). It’s definitely the easiest.
Picking the right flower or oil for your desired sexy effect is the hardest part. I suggest reaching for top-shelf flower and something with 20% THC or lower. You will pay more but you will almost certainly have a better experience. If you’re going for an oil, look for something that has a good amount of CBD in it too. CBD helps blunt the psychoactive effects from the THC.
I like to go the extra mile to visit a dispensary too, rather than ordering delivery—if such an option is even available to you. The value I get from talking to a budtender (the person behind the counter) is always worth the effort. A lot of dispensaries staff people who really don’t know their stuff—and it’s pretty clear when you’re in one of those places. If this happens to you, go somewhere else! Find your go-to budtender and keep them close.
You’ve probably heard a lot of people talking about strains which fall into three categories: indica, sativa, and hybrid. Don’t get too caught up with those categorizations. (They’re generally viewed as a hangover from a less evolved cannabis era.) Indica might be as good as a sativa or a hybrid for sex—or any other activity, for that matter. Your budtender may still use this kind of language to describe products, but that’s only because the industry hasn’t come up with alternative language yet. Your job will be to focus on communicating the qualities of the experience you’re trying to have. This is definitely a more useful conversation.
Off you go, Distractingly Trippy. You’ll find yourself blissed out soon enough.
With love and bud,